In my life, there have been few decisions more impactful than when I decided to learn French.

Indeed, my French journey has taken me through nearly every significant language learning event you could think of.

I've been:

  • A student in a French classroom
  • An independent learner, developing my skills from my home country (outside of France)
  • A foreign student, studying the language in France
  • A conference interpreter-in-training, also in France
  • A language coach, teaching/tutoring in French
  • A C2-certified French speaker

All of those diverse experiences with the French language and culture have taught me countless lessons which have gone on to influence how I've learned many other languages, as well.

Today, I'd like to share three lessons that learning French has taught me; lessons that I hope, in turn, will help you get the most out of your own French-learning experience.

1. How to Learn French Outside of the Classroom

I first began learning French in the same environment as many language learners do: a high school classroom.

Within that classroom, it was my teacher who decided what I learned about the French language, when I learned it, and the methods I used to make that knowledge my own.

While that was enough for many of my classmates, it wasn't good enough for me.

I loved French, and I was going to take every opportunity to learn it, even if that meant I would have to strike out on my own.

So I did. 

In one of the most important language learning decisions of my life, I decided that I was going to take control of my French destiny by learning as much as I could outside of the classroom, even in my free time.

This was huge for my motivation. At home, I could pick and choose which activities I used to learn French. If I didn't want to use a certain textbook, I didn't have to; if I didn't want to memorize grammar tables, I didn't have to do that, either.

What I did do was follow my motivation. Fortunately, around the time I decided to learn French on my own, I realized that I could watch France 2, perhaps the biggest public television channel in France, from the comfort of my own home.

This gave me access to a near-constant stream of new and interesting French content—talk shows, documentaries, news broadcasts, and movies. 

Best of all, the channel came equipped with French subtitles, allowing me to not only develop my listening skills, but my reading skills, too!

After my discovery, I spent months at a time practically glued to the television; every night, I'd throw on France 2 and take pages upon pages of notes. 

I was hooked.

It didn't take long before my French skills began to eclipse those of my classmates; though we initially had similar levels of exposure to the French language, my avid TV watching soon gave me so much French experience that it would have taken my classroom-bound peers years to catch up.

If you want to learn French, you don't need to necessarily spend all of your nights and weekends watching France 2, as I did (though it certainly helps!)

What you must do is accept the fact that to truly learn French well, you need to take control of your learning, and expand your learning time above and beyond your classroom hours.

How can you do this?

  • Watch French TV
  • Watch  French movies
  • Start or attend a French-language meetup group
  • Hire a French tutor
  • Start a language exchange with a French speaker
  • Read French interlinear books (affiliate)
  • Watch the News in French (France 24 is great for that!)
  • Find French friends 

2. Cover all 4 Language Areas At Once

French can be a difficult language to learn because of one simple fact: the written and spoken languages are quite different.

While languages like Italian and Spanish have a written language that is a reasonably accurate representation of the spoken language, French does not. Written French looks almost nothing like spoken French sounds.

If you want to learn French well, then, you have to quickly develop both your listening, reading, and writing skills so that you can create a strong mental "bond" between the written and spoken language.

If you don't do this, it can have some serious consequences for your French progress.

Remembering back to my high school days again, we had an actual French student who took the class with us. He was a native speaker of the language, but had moved to Italy before he got very far in his formal education.

This meant that while he spoke the language perfectly, he had a very difficult time writing it. 

If that can happen to a French native speaker, you can be sure that it will happen for you, too, if you don't make the key choice to learn the language holistically, and develop your listening, reading, and writing skills in tandem with one another.

How do you get started?

Seek out resources that have both audio and written components, rather than just one of the two. 

This includes materials such as:

These resources are great because, in a majority of cases, they give you written and spoken language that are one-to-one equivalents of each other; you can be sure that what you're hearing is what you're reading, and vice versa.

Practicing listening and reading simultaneously with materials such as the above will help you mentally "link" French speech and writing in your head. With enough experience, you'll be able to mentally "see" written French as you hear it spoken, and mentally "hear" spoken French as you read it.

3. Live the Language and the Culture

As a beginner learner, it's easy to see French as something that exists solely within the walls of a classroom or between the covers of a textbook. The language we get from these sources can often feel processed, or sanitized, like a wild animal put on display in a zoo. 

While learning the language in the classroom, as in watching the animal at the zoo, we forget that there's a lot more than what is being placed in front of us—animals have natural habitats and social groups, while French has a living, breathing culture. 

To get the most out of your French learning experience, you need to escape the proverbial zoo and go experience the French language where it truly thrives: among French speakers!

Note that I didn't say you need to go to France. Certainly, going to France (or any other French-speaking country) will help you learn the language, but even then, what you really need to do is interact with French-speaking people. That's what makes the most difference.

In my case, it all began when I met a French girl while vacationing in Prague in 2007. I didn't know it at the time, but that girl would become my girlfriend, and we would go on to date for a number of years. I even moved to France for a time during our relationship.

Aside from the obvious benefits of having a French speaker around at all times, getting to know my girlfriend taught me a surprising amount about the French culture that I probably could have never learned elsewhere.

For example: 

  • French facial expressions and gestures
  • Cultural references
  • Cultural faux pas
  • Humor
  • Famous French icons (celebrities, athletes, politicians)
  • Classic French movies and television shows
  • Differences between various parts of France
  • Different regional accents
  • And many other things.

Getting really good at these things isn't essential if you just want to be competent speaker of French, but if you want to become native-like in your skills, then getting first-hand experience with these important cultural details is key. And believe me when I say that you can't really learn these things from a book!

Time to Start Your Own French Journey

Ultimately, your experience with the French language will not be the same as mine.

Though there will be some experiences we share with the language, there are just as many that will be unique to you. Also unique will be the lessons you take away from the French-learning experience as a whole.

In sharing these three lessons from my own French journey, it is my hope that you one day go beyond the French that's confined to your textbooks and online courses, and truly experience the wide world of French that lives beyond those things—in the hearts, minds, and ways of life shared by actual French-speaking people.

Written by Luca Lampariello

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  • Please tell me this. In your email, you said that French has been the most impactful of all the languages you’ve learned. Is that because it was your first foreign language, which developed your autodidactic (self learning) methods, or because it is the most useful of languages? Perhaps there are other reasons for your statement? Can you please explain.

    • Hi Jim. It is the only language I truly “lived” in its entirety: I lived in France for 3 years, I had a French girlfriend for 5, I spent a lot of time with her family – an educated family that really cared about reaching a native-like level in the language – I went to a French school. I have had countless experiences in French. I breathed this language for a lot of years, in a fully immersive experience. I have never had anything even remotely close in the other languages that I speak (with the exception of Italian, my native language)

      • Cher Luca
        Je vous ai vu pour la première fois dans votre vidéo avec Hugo Cotton et votre démarche sur l’apprentissage des langues m’a impressionnée beaucoup.
        Je voudrais savoir où où comment je pourrais trouver un coach qui m’aiderait à améliorer mon français. J’ai étudié le français il y a beaucoup d’années. Je parle assez bien l’espagnol parce que j’avais un époux (ex) espagnol . Est-ce que vous pouvez recommender quelques sites spécifiques dans lesquels je pouvais rencontrer une personne qui veuille avoir des conversations. Je suis un peu hésitante car je ne suis pas très compétente avec la technologie ( j’ai presque 78 ans) et j’en suis aussi un peu méfiante. J’habite aux États Unis bien que dans mon âme je me considère européenne ( j’ai des racines italiennes … j’ai voyagé en Espagne beaucoup a cause de mon ex ; mes parents n’a pas su parler la langue italienne mais je l’ai étudiée à l’université parce que j’étais chanteuse d’opéra et j’ai eu besoin de la connaître)
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        Merci bien
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  • My mother language Till the age of 16, years old French in the school, and my nonna cause of italian languages, and Arabic mother speak some my husband Italian, I learn Italian more because My mother in -law,in short, I was enjoying that speak the different languages, 2018 30 of march started Spanish with Olly Richards, and lingq, 15months with Olly only. and I said to Steave Kaufmann, That I want to go over my other 2 languages, That Arabic Italian, Yes, English play part in my learning and the motive for learning Is as I mentioned before My big family in different places in South America, and in Italy. Luca, I have not spoken the Italian or french for long, long times, and I am a very happy person and healthy, learning is nothing to me, but stress does! You know.

  • By learning Italian, French, and Arabic, With a grand motive, I have a Goal to accomplish, Luca I haven’t been learning for long, Including Spanish. since March 30th, 2018, what is holding me back is the speaking, and no one and nothing will stop me from continue, I love languages and I will accomplish the 4 languages I did start. Thanks to you Luca. you are grand with Intellegen. Language along does not make a man, but his charrecter will.

  • Hi Luca,
    Kindly tell me this. What should be the absolute first step in any language learning journey as an adult. I am asking this because I would like to learn French language from scratch.
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